overthinking.

I overthink almost every situation I am in.

If it’s just hanging out with someone I think of all the things that have been on my mind that could cause the time with the individual to go wrong. Planning a party, I overthink every person I invite, worrying each person won’t get along with everyone else. My schedule; will I have enough time for homework? How many songs can I fit into 23 minutes of getting ready for bed?

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And difficult conversations terrify me, making my overthinking brain go into overtime. Worrying that I will say the wrong thing, ending the relationship I’ve spent time building up, worrying I will say the wrong thing. I write down everything; from my schedule to the minutes, to my to do list, nighttime and morning routines, re-writing notes till they look perfect, to questions for the person I’m spending time with.

With overthinking, God is showing me how much I do not fully trust in Him.  I overthink my relationship with Him and how much background worrying and stress I always have consuming me. I worry I will never please Him. That one mess up will ruin everything.

But He is showing me by giving everything to Him, He takes away my worrying and stress.

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