face to face messy & beautiful.

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I had this image in my mind, that messy and beautiful could never coexist. I’ve struggled with my outward appearance, and believing everything had to be in order. All the time. Making sure I had makeup on, and making sure everything was organized around me was vital, or so I believed.

About a year ago, I started going to school with no makeup on, and honestly, it was a really big deal for me. I thought that people wouldn’t see me the same way. It all started from senioritis, seeing how fast I could go from my bed to the car, and still make it to class on time, but there was something deeper, a “kairos moment” as my mentor, Mrs. Christy says, that really caused it. I started believing I was truly beautiful without all the extra stuff. Yes, some days I could’ve used some concealer for those heavy under-eyes, after a long night of studying, or the pimples who decided to stay awhile, but its the importance of waking up, looking at myself in the mirror and seeing myself through God’s eyes.

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Over the summer while at camp, I brought makeup, believing my campers would base their experience off my looks. A complete lie friends. Sweet kiddos care about your heart, the love you share, stories you tell, the songs you sing while tucking them in, a listening ear, comfort through the tears, and seeing God’s love through you. I came home from camp, with tons more freckles, my first ever watch tan, and a better understanding that our hearts are what truly matter, not our outward appearance.

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I really like the rainbow. Down to my shirts, jeans, even socks, is color coordinated; yes even the plates in the kitchen. While these things are still true today, there’s a change in my thought process now. I’ve learned that while being organized is healthy, that having a routine, or having a pattern can help, the world doesn’t fall apart when life gets messy; when a green plate goes in between a dark blue and a red one or when my socks are mismatched.

Life is meant to be messy, we are humans, we are sin doers, mess makers, and prideful, selfish people, but the true organizer isn’t me, it’s Jesus. He comes and re-aligns our focus on Him.

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He comes along, picking up our shattered vase lives, and glues us back together with His love, tenderness, and compassion. That’s not something we can do on our own.

After an unexpected snow storm caused a last minute sleepover with the Penley’s, from worsening road conditions, I was in sweatpants, surrounded by 5 kiddos, bedhead, and no makeup, un-showered, and you know what? That’s a victory to me. Seems silly, smelly, and messy, but to me, it’s beautiful.

I still have flaws with my face, so I decided to deal with them face to face by doing my makeup in my bedroom mirror. Noticing my eyebrows from my dad, and my blue eyes from my beautiful mama. Letting the sunlight shine in and highlight the areas I want improving on, but rather focusing on being appreciative of how God meticulously created me. face to face.

Messy and beautiful, two words I didn’t believe could ever go together, but am learning how we are always beautiful in God’s eyes, and yes of course messy. We make mistakes, and many more times than I’d like to say, my life is crazy messy, crazy busy, but with confidence I’ll also say my life is crazy beautiful because God’s got me. Learning to see our worth in Christ is so so important friends! If it takes applying makeup in your bedroom mirror, going makeup free, reading books about your worth, whatever it is, do it!   God took time to create each of us, both our outward beauty, but also our hearts for Him, are not to be overlooked. You are cherished.

So enjoy a makeup free Saturday, filled with giggles, pancakes, cuddles and just embrace a beautiful, messy Saturday. No matter how much we try to organize, or cover up our imperfections, Jesus sees through all of it, and knows your true value in Him.

We’re all messy, yet beautiful. Have a great day friends

-Kyra Mariah

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