filled up & full.

Thanking Jesus as I wrap up fall semester of my Junior Year. Crazy to think I’ll be graduating in 2 years, December 2022, with TWO majors!!!! Can I get a hallelujah?!

As I stirred homemade soup in a big bowl on the stovetop, I started thinking back on this past semester. Filled to the brim, full of such vital ingredients and moments, that without the others, would make for it being bland. From moving into a house with three other girls and my dog, Kia, saying goodbyes to the Penley’s, Jon and I traveling to the Mayo Clinic for answers with him meeting my extended family, 19 credit hours, new job at a senior living center, CNA State Certified, weddings, a new church, and all the new friendships formed, it’s been filled to the brim. It’s been a beautiful picture of a tree growing, evolving and forming with fullness over time.

This semester has been full of newness and change, something that I’m learning I struggle quite a bit with. It’s been in the moments between all the newness and transitions that I’ve questioned my identity in the Lord as His daughter, doubting my confidence in the One who sees me in His eyes, and trying to hurriedly rush to the next to-do item on the list.

As I sat, on a cloudy afternoon, chai tea and homemade soup in hand, classical music in the background and completing schoolwork with my sister, Anna and roommate, McKensie, tears begin to rush in. It’s been a whirlwind of a semester, and even a year, yet the Lord has been so gracious in the way He loves. Showing me areas I need repentance, early morning devotions, walks to the Open Space with Mrs. Christy, dessert dates with the roommates, intentional times with family and framily (friends that are family) and befriending quietness.

I’ve been one to fill my schedule full, to the brim, and yet God has so tenderly taken away pieces of my schedule, and keeps asking me to draw nearer and nearer to Him instead. Taking Kia on walks, early morning devotionals and hot showers after a day have become the most intimate of times with my Savior.

It’s crazy to look back on who I was a year ago, the turmoil and season of grief I was facing head on, and yet to still be in a season of grief, knowing more confidently, that my Father delights in sitting with me.

As I enter into the Holiday Season, waiting to hear back on Jon’s health and gearing up for Spring semester with 22 credits, my prayer is that the quiet moments stay intimate and a priority.

Enjoy a morning with some hot tea, walking your dog in silence or begin repenting out-loud in the shower, as God’s love washes away your sins. He loves you friend, and so do I.

Friend, I pray in the midst of this roller coaster of a year, you are able to have intimate moments with Our Father. He who delighted in making you, wants to have a relationship with you too. That you would be filled with the patience to watch as God crafts a beautiful, full of life tree out of you and the life you are living!

-Kyra Mariah

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