“Pursue me in the drylands.” is what I’ve heard God whisper over my soul this week.

It’s been full of weariness. Unease sets in with new vaccines and a new President in office. My heart has been weary of the future; of my mine, Our Nation’s and of my loved ones.

I haven’t turned towards Him when I should have, sitting in the drylands of this week, throwing a fit for myself instead of seeking His waters of redemption and surrender.

Drylands. That’s what these past few weeks have felt like. I personally struggle with the new vaccines and Our Nation’s new President’s ethics make me uneasy, but the Lord has a plan through this and no other earthly possession or thing will bring the kind of nourishment that my heart can find in Him.

With a homemade London fog tea in hand, Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling and sister hammy-down stripped pants with bee socks, I look back on last year.

My word was confidence. By the end of the year, I realized that my confidence of the unknown cannot come from solely me. My confidence has to be rooted in Him before I can gain any confidence in myself, if the other way around, it will lead to self-conceitedness and corruption.

There will always be seasons on Earth where the soil is drier than others, while other seasons will be wetter. No matter the climate, there is still nourishment and nutrients that can be found in the soil; bringing about new life.

I used to nanny 5 boys of a single dad in the Air Force for several years. This week, their new mom officially adopted them as her own. Not because of her and their dad’s marriage or out of obligation, but because from the deep parts of her heart, they are her boys. It was beautiful watching as the judge approved of the adoption and made the boys hers. These past few years for the sweet family has been a dry-land, but this week that dry-land turned into a plentiful field of redemption, love, tenderness and wholeness. Those boys gained an inspiring new mother. One who will love them and hold their hearts in her hands.

My word for this year is fulfillment. I’m already learning that what I had envisioned is different than what the Lord is trying to teach me. Already, He’s opened my eyes to areas that I have become numb. Areas that I would rather avoid, subjects I don’t talk through due to past pain, to ways I study His Word and don’t absorb what He’s laying out in-front of me. What I’m learning is, God’s a really patient teacher. Eager to always teach me new things, grow me, strengthen my headspace, encourage prayer, and yet, I don’t take the time to sit and listen to His teachings.

Fulfillment. Confidence. Drylands. In all of these facets, God is reminding me that my heart and emotions are valid in all seasons. Yet, in order to feel relieved and fully seen, known and treasured, I have to turn towards Him.

I’m not sure what the future holds for Our Nation, for the side effects with the vaccine, with our hearts through all the unrest and change of life’s pace. Friend, as I remind myself, may I also encourage you, to seek Our Father’s well of nourishment, grace and teachings. He is always willing to teach and hold you, may you have a beautiful rest of your day. Jesus loves you and so do I! I’ll leave you with one last question.. What does it look like to seek His fulfillment in the midst of your own drylands?

-Kyra Mariah