16 months

Welcome back friend, stranger or simply someone who stumbled upon this page!

It’s been sixteen months since my last post.

A little over a year, watching as God refined my fleshly heart to sprout wildflowers of child-like wonder again. It was painful, yet oh so beautiful.

My last post came days before unexpected heartbreak. Walking through the trenches of confusion and grief while unknown health conditions arose again. God faithfully whispered in my ever-doubting ears the goodness He had in store if I simply would take His hand.

So I did, stumbling as I held on.

Young mama’s and babies hold an especially tender spot in my heart. Through praying where the Lord wanted my next steps, a sweet ministry has come about in the heart of Johannesburg that specifically works to come alongside and counsel mama’s, minister to locals, rescue abandoned infants and provide adoption. I will be moving overseas for the summer as an Intern for the ministry, Impact Africa, to Johannesburg, South Africa.

God has walked me through valleys of confusion and mountain peaks of clarity, to gain a greater understanding of my own story, through the gift of counseling. It has been used to expose and uproot parts, to see more of the Father’s heart, and has been the biggest help and hardest challenge. With a combination of love for young mama’s and counseling, I hope to come alongside those who have been at the hands of sin and shame, helping to end generational patterns with the clients I’ll interface with. In August, I’ll return to the States and move to Florida, starting Grad School at Palm Beach Atlantic University, studying Clinical-Mental Health Counseling, with an emphasis in Trauma & Crisis Therapy.

These directions didn’t come from dreams. Or even wishing.

More honestly, from lots of heartbreak and grief; but I would not have it any other way.

It was all God.

I knew sacrificial love is the laying down of personal wants to become one with someone else; but as God removed the relationship I was in, He opened my eyes to the fact that missions was not one He had asked me to lay down. This was something that never faded, but rather, I locked it up in a closet, dark and isolated, as I chose to step forward more into unison with a man who did not have the same desire.

When I was seven years old, a ministry visited our church, ever since then, I have had a special place in my heart for long-term missions. Gratefully, through my dad’s ministry, our family has been blessed to travel and live for a period of time in developing countries.

Through tears and sorrowful hearts, unexpected heartbreak led the Father to opening that door again.

Ever so gently.

Ever so tenderly.

Showing that that is where He is calling me next. As He removed a person, who I saw no end date with, He has asked me to step forward into a new season across the globe.

It has been in the droughts that I have come to see more of His face; how sweetly twisted.

In the moments of hardships, I see more of Him. His love and tender-graciousness; He steps in. Holding my tear stained face to His chest, as He continues to remove the weeds of sin growing in my garden of love, for His glory and mercy to be evident.

So with a few nerves, but honestly, more excitement and joy than anything, I am stepping forward.

First, to Johannesburg.

Prayers for my team’s safety as we fly from various places. For our minds to stay alert and humbled. Lastly, for my heart as it grieves and rejoices about going forth.


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