The Lord has recently been teaching me to take in the little moments and find life within them. More days have ended in despair and turmoil than in joy, yet the Lord has so clearly said, “keep pressing into me, for I am your refuge.”
I’ve found myself going through the motions recently, numb to the touch as I have neglected my Bible and have clung to earthly possessions instead.
One day, my counselor had me write out three lists, “what fills you up?”, “what drains you?” and “which is taking up more room in your house?” I felt punched in the gut, knowing this season of life has been more draining than filling. I forgot about the lists and remembered as I pulled into counseling the following week. Quickly filling them out and running in. With a mix of grace and truth, she told me to take a second look and to be really honest with myself.
That night I climbed into my shower, the place I feel closest to God and wept. Tears streaming down as I repented to my Father who has desperately wanted to hold me through these past months of trials.
In the early mornings, as the sun begins to rise above the tree line, Kia sits at the foot of the bed, watching peacefully, intricately and full of anticipation as the new day begins. Just like God does. Waiting for us to wake up, yearning for us to reach out and communicate whatever is on our hearts, patiently wanting to speak with us like He did with His disciples in the early mornings.
I’m grateful for a man who’s an example of life and joy. Through his health struggles and the grief in my life, he has remained rooted in God’s faithfulness. He’s reminded me to go dancing on the beach, watch the sunshine pour in through the window shades, and to start my mornings with sweatpants, duck socks & peppermint tea, knowing these are things that are soul-healing; taking note of the life that’s encapsulated. Taking note of the little moments and letting them fill up the pages in my journal, I began to notice more and more of God’s posture for me.
I’ll be honest, I’ve failed many days, even weeks with seeing the life within. Finding it easier to return to the numbness and not press into Him.
I’m learning it’s the cracks that God fills; nourishing each one of us in areas that truly fills our souls and drawing us up into His tender-powerful arms. Friend, you are seen, you are valued, and God wants to meet you in the cracks.