How do you know when you’ve pushed yourself too far? How do you know when to slow down and take a breath, if you feel like you’re not doing enough already?
These questions have come upon my heart these past months, either between school (dual enrollment with the local community college), work, modeling, looking at colleges and what it’ll take to get accepted, my spiritually, and friendships.
Throughout my junior year, many thoughts have over-consumed and overpowered my mind. This blog post maybe a bit all over the place, because there’s so many things that come to mind.
When I think of my future, I think of attending the great University of Florida, studying Neuroscience, with a minor in International Studies and becoming a Pediatric Physician Assistant, hopefully working with Mercy Ships overseas. Wow that was a massive breath to hold in.
This whole year has been a crazy change. From switching school campuses, enrolling in community college, babysitting till midnight on school nights, working two jobs, trials and triumphs with horse back riding, contemplating colleges, changing churches, etc. etc., its been all in all; a whirlwind.
Does over exceeding mean that taking two college classes this summer, five in the fall, and four in the spring is too much? Is it a fair amount? Too little? Do I only take enough classes for graduation? Or, take extra classes so colleges are more impressed and do not focus on not being a straight A student?
To be completely honest, I have struggled with being overwhelmed with how much I am doing this year. Yes, on the outside I am grateful for being able to be there for so many people, trainers, riders, friends, family and being a babysitter. Yes, I absolutely love what I do, but I come home everyday completely overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted. Naps are becoming a daily, from an hour long to 3-4 hour long naps. But when as a person, you love everything your doing, how do you know when to pull back or just keep pushing until the next chapter of your life?
The pressure to exceed is immense, but when do you know when your over-exceeding yourself?
These thoughts have rung loud throughout the year, and as I pray repeatedly for whether to stop and breath or add more to the workload is up and down. But through it all I know the constant will be my Father. I know that no matter on a stressful day, on the beautiful and full-hearted days, or the sad and lonely days, His Word is steadfast and beautiful. And He is always there for me.